Today I may spend the day comfort eating hobbit style before rocking back and forth in the foetal position in a dark corner. At least that was my plan for today. My plans have changed. I thought I’d try unleashing some frustrations in cathartic fashion while enjoying an Iced Lemon Tea and some Candy Floss Grapes. If you haven’t tried them then I highly recommend them. They could be Cotton Candy Grapes where you are if you are in far off lands. I can’t….that is I have…I think my brain may be starting to collapse in on itself trying to comprehend what just happened in Scotland. The election results. They’re…I’m sat here with a brow so furrowed I could snap a pencil with it.

Never has 13 been more of an unlucky number. I still don’t understand, knowing what we know is on the way, how could people in Scotland still vote Conservative. And now having them being propped up by the DUP, an anti-LGBT, Climate Change deniers. Yes that’s right. A party that has not fully embraced the 21st Century. In fact I can’t even be sure they’ve made it into the 20th Century. Who are the DUP you ask? The Democratic Unionist Party which won 10 seats in Northern Ireland. And with those 10 seats they’ve managed to push the Conservatives past that magic number of 326 seats to ensure that they can form a government. The DUP? My god what were they thinking? Yes we all know what they’re thinking. They want to stay in power so they’ll do whatever they can to keep a tight grip on that. But the DUP? A party that has members who have described evolution a “peddled lie”. Who think man-made climate change is a con. It does get worse if you look into their views on the LGBT community and Women’s Rights. I’d say more but that feeling of going foetal is starting to wash over me again.

It seems to have come down to tactical voting in Scotland, at least that’s the only explanation my poor deluded brain wants to cling to rather than face up to the possibility that there are people in Scotland who agree with the Conservatives and their plans for more austerity. If it was all down to tactical voting it just confirms what I’ve always thought. That tactical voting is a betrayal of the democratic process. It’s voting for someone who doesn’t share your values rather than having faith in a candidate that does. Scottish Labour could have had a very different result had they not advocated voting Conservative in some seats. Look at the results. Yes Scottish Labour you managed to claw back seven seats but you also advocated voting Conservative to block the SNP and in the process they rose from one seat to thirteen. If Scottish Labour and Lib Dems hadn’t followed the Conservatives and turned this into a one issue campaign over a second Independence Referendum and actually went after the Conservatives record in government then perhaps things would be a bit different today. But no. It was all about IndyRef2 and sticking the boot into the SNP.

The richest people in the country will be loving this result while the poor, sick and disabled are well and truly fu…well I think we know what will happen to them with increased NHS privatisation in England which will have a knock on effect on the NHS funding in Scotland. Don’t forget pension cuts too and I’m not even touching Brexit. But that’s ok because at least it means there may not be another IndyRef. I mean it’s not like people could have just voted No again if that’s what they believed in.

Deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. And let it go. Is it gone? Sort of. We’ll see, maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

I seem to be on the wrong side of every major election and referendum so perhaps I’ll embrace hypocrisy and tactically vote against my values to see if I can use my bad luck positively

But at least I’ve made some progress on this.