it’s not an instruction manual

click to buy

A collection of photos and ponderings of the everyday happenings that happened to happen when I descended upon my favourite Norwegian one toasty summer. Well some winter too but mostly it was summer.

This book does contain gratuitous baking and a little bit of nudity.

I wouldn’t really know where to start with fixing bottoms. The whole diagnosis part would put me off. I don’t even like thinking about my own bottom unless it’s that most careful of decisions about where to rest it of an evening. Yes, it’s usually the same place it’s been planted the rest of the day but sometimes your cheeks that see no sun should be treated to a new place to rest upon.

This is my book. I mean yes this is my book but it’s also my book. It’s my book in that I own it and it’s my book in the sense that I made it…wrote it…well write is maybe too strong a phrase. No, no there are words in it and lots of them so that might be quite apt. There are lots of photos in it too and since a picture is worth a thousand words there’s at least 45,000 words in that. Maybe 50,000 if you add on the actual words.

So many many words. And good one too. Words like…like…oh bugger I’ve forgotten which words I used. There’s definitely a few “and” maybe some “if” and “buts” and I’m certain the world “testicles” is used at least once while solving the secret of life in the universe. It’s quite ingenious in a completely ridiculous sort of way. I like the ridiculous. It’s so much fun.

I’ve made it available in two sizes, trade and really quite big. Depending on how big your pockets are they could be considered pocket sized but they’d really need to be Mary Poppins type pockets.

i fixed your bottom - click to buy

i fixed your bottom – click to buy

Sooo....what are you thinking?

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