i survived dunfermline comic con

And so did everyone else. Woooo!

That is the Little Shop of Heroes presents or creates or gives birth from an egg on a mountain top Dunfermline Comic Con. Hehe Yay! I’ve not got the Monkey Magic theme stuck in my head. That was a genuine “Yay”. Oh yes with Dunfermline Delivers helping out too. But we’ll have no accidental thunder stealing by anyone thinking this was local council or some faceless disembodied entity. They all have faces, I’ve seen them, both in person and on the back of the very special Doctor Who comic with the Neil Slorance cover created just for this very con. I have one. It’s signed too. It shall be with me forever and beyond.

*Ahem* now excuse me while I choose some appropriate music to set the mood. Ah there we go.

Yes now picture it. You’ve volunteered to work at the very first Dunfermline Comic Con for you shall be given a lanyard. It may be a small thing to some people but just say it out loud, Lanyard. C’mon it’s like boudoir or autumnal, just one of those words that’s fun to say and it’s something you can wear too. That’s the reason I said yes. Lanyard. Oh bugger that music has ended. Back to the start with it and hit play again. Are we sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin.

It’s your town’s…your city’s…is Dunfermline a town or a city? I’ve lived around here forever and with is being the capital 500 and a bit years ago it does have that citydom but it does feel very townish and everyone says they’re “gaun up tha toon” so yes city it is. It’s what all the signs say now. So picture it now. It’s your city’s…that’s right city…it’s your city’s first ever Comic Con…cue the music…is it playing? Yes? Good we need atmosphere for this. The clock is ticking down, you’re at your station, you barely slept the night before…well six hours…the queue is forming at a terrifying rate and five minutes before the doors open the camera stops working. Do you panic? No for it shall be fixed and it was. Crisis averted. 10:00am comes and the doors open and in floods the population of a small village. The good kind of flooding though, nothing biblical, although there were a few Oh God’s but they were always followed by “Your costume is amazing”.

no-budget-ha-no-problem

While I’m not a cosplayer myself I have donned the occasional tweed jacket and bow tie for the right occasion and by occasional I mean just the once and then people noticed me and spoke to me and I internally freaked out and ran away. Walked away I mean. With purpose. I was far more used to being invisible…like a ninja. Yes that would be rather spectacular. An invisible ninja. I could slip in and out of a situation with nary an inclination I was ever there. Leaving nought but an air of mystery and a wiff of Sure for Men and possibly bloody footprints. Actually it was twice, but second time was the 12th Doctor and I was in Glasgow. It was Glasgow, no one notices that sort of thing in Glasgow.

invisible ninja dispatches the invisible man

invisible ninja dispatches the invisible man

Oh but so many cosplayers. So so many. So so Sooo many. I forget how many. I did lose count of how many Harley Quinn’s went by. I know there were more than four. Not as many Deadpools as I’d have expected but Jedi, there were Jedi everywhere and an 8ft Wookie. He must have been at least 10ft at least till you got closer and could see he was 47ft tall. I only add hyperbole because I care. He was really tall. And so many Colin’s, there was a plethora of Colin’s…well there were three…but three talented Colin’s. Colin MacNeil known for his work on 2000AD and a rather pleasant gentleman, Colin Maxwell of Maximized comics and another very nice individual, and Colin Bell writer of Dungeon Fun and who really went for it on the Iron Throne. Oh yes the Iron Throne. The only HBO approved and independently made Iron Throne in the UK upon which many Game of Thrones cast member’s bums have been plonked. Graced, we’ll say bottoms have graced that sounds a bit more worthy of the Iron Throne. Ah but not only has it been sat upon but signed too. That was my area for the day. Queue shepherd for the Throne. I have taken far too much delight in declaring “I’ve been on the Throne all day”. I don’t know why but it made me smile. I do know why. Yes I do. It’s because I don’t adult regularly and there was no adulting that day. There was a full-sized Dalek chasing people around the venue, that is not something that brings out your inner adult. That has you looking for a couch to hide behind.

My only regret was not taking photos of everything and everyone and then everything again but from a different angle with the light falling on it to make it look both arty and farty. Mostly arty. Oh and not being able to buy from everyone and get a signing from even more. And only seeing Sarah Chrisp’s Wonder Woman in passing while I was going about my business. The costume was rather wondrous. But most of all wearing a Kilt in Scotland, in March, when the temperature was only slightly above that of Hoth. I may have to go through puberty again just to get my man parts to descend. But of course I will do it again. It is the price you have to pair for wearing the sexiest and most awe-inspiring garment known to man, woman and everyone else on the planet. I’m looking at you alien visitors from beyond the cosmos.

It’s not that there wasn’t the time or opporchancity there was loads of both. It was just that there was so much to chose from and having a hinge signed and meeting people requires talking to them and that’s not really my forte. If it goes beyond “Hello, how are things today?” Or the weather then we’re getting into unknown waters here or possibly a dessert of dried up conversation and an oasis of awkward.

But they’re not real regrets. And they are negated by the fact that I got to be behind the scenes and be a part of Dunfermline’s first Comic Con and I’d do it again for the second one. I did manage to purchase some rather splendiferous items. I want to say what they were but they’re going to be a birthday present and I don’t want to spoil the surprise but I will say that Curious Creations and Janine van Moosel are who I purchased from and I would recommend them to both friends and strangers to fulfil your need for creative and arty art creations. Yes their wares will make you go “Oooh I want that and that and that and here have all my money”.

I could sit here and run through all that you could have seen and done and touched and sat on and met and bought but I can already feel the seething envy of those who missed out on tickets. And if I were to tell you what you missed you might not go check out Dunfermline Comic Con for yourself and then upon checking think “I must go to Little Shop of Heroes and enquire about next year and perchance purchase their goods”. You might actually inquire I’m just googling to see if I got it wrong. I checked and I was right it is enquire.

I’m not really sure how to end this now. Ummm….so did you have a good day? Yes? Good. Well I’ll leave you with a link to some photos of the day. You’ll see that 149 ft Wookie I mentioned earlier.

Erm….live long and may your force be prosperous with you.

I sense heads exploding. Hehehehe. Hahahehehehaha. Mowahahahahahahaa.

I’m done now.

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