I’ve gone Beyond the gates


Have you seen Beyond the Gates? I’ve seen it. I’m watching it just now. The tale of two estranged brothers clearing out their missing Dad’s video shop where they stumble upon a Video Board Game that may hold the key to his whereabouts.

It was good.

I’m sorry, that does seem a bit brief and lacking in both quality and quantity but that’s usually as much of a review as I can muster up for something. My articulation on most matters are not in any way eloquent nor frequented with a multitude of…um…wordiness. Although for this I am going to make the effort as my brain has been underused for so long. For like most things if you don’t use it then some otherworldly creature is going to come along, rip it off and use it for nefarious deeds. Hmm losing something you don’t use. Oh gawd….get me an iron jock strap with a lock so big I can live inside it.


I think like many people hearing Barbara Crampton is in it was enough to pique my interest and have me thinking “I would like to know more about this endeavour”. Yes, that was the reason I bought myself a copy. A cinematic icon like herself who helped make Re-Animator, Castle Freak, From Beyond, and Chopping Mall the classics that they are. How could anyone see this and walk past knowing that they could be missing out a Barbara Crampton performance. Where in the 80s and 90s she may have been the one who screams whereas now she’s the one who’s going to make you scream.


I will admit it is not without its flaws. There is a distinct lack of urgency and doom.They don’t really seem to be in any kind of rush to finish the game and find their father while at the same time you don’t feel they’re in any real danger. There is a touch of the mundane about it when the focus shifts away from the playing of the game. Perhaps due to the lack of budget or possibly due to the majority of the film being perfectly lit it lacked that ominous dark and gritty feel of an 80s horror that it was in homage to.


Would I say don’t watch? Course not. I would say go watch, go buy, go watch again, go for gold, wake me up before you go go and go go go Johnny B. Goode.. It does have so much potential. A sequel with more money, a grander scale, the directors coming back with more experience and of course more Barbara Crampton, could no doubt surpass this one.

Sooo....what are you thinking?

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